Subtitle: The Psychology of Persuasion
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Now, let us analyze which principles of influence were on me by my acquaintance
Reciprocity: Him calling me and saying, I thought of you, makes me indebted to him
Liking: specifically compliments. The thought of him associating me with entrepreneurship is a good indirect compliment.
Social Proof: being the biggest in the country and the fact that the tickets were selling out, means people are coming to it.
Scarcity: using both limited numbers and deadline tactics.
Commitment: his suggestion of him buying the ticket to initiate my commitment.
Interesting Links
Books Mentioned
Win Bigly by Scott Adams
PreSuasion by Robert Cialdini
Skin In the Game by Nassim Taleb
Episode Transcript
Episode Introduction
Hello and welcome to the TLDR Show, a podcast where I distill the knowledge of books just for you. I am your host Abdelrahman and I am very excited to have you with me. For today's episode, we continue our series on Human Nature. In last the episode, we covered the first 3 principles of persuasion, reciprocity, commitment and consistency, and social proof. Today's we will continue on part 2, and cover the remaining weapons of influence.
So, without further a due, let us dive into our second book, Influence, subtitled the Psychology of Persuasion by Robert B. Cialdini.
The Liking Principle of Persuasion
[00:45] Now, let us dive into our 4th weapon of influence, Liking. It is common knowledge for all of us that we do things for people that we like, as part of our social contract. However, like all other social customs, liking can be used to influence our actions.
Scientists worked on identifying the factors that can lead to liking. Let us talk about them:
I-Physical Attractiveness
The first factor is physical attractiveness. All of us understand the advantage of good-looking individuals in social situations. Weird enough, physical attractiveness leads us into thinking that this person has good traits. Maybe we think they are good, kind, or talented depending on the situation. This is what we refer to as the "Halo Effect". It is when a positive characteristic of someone dominates how we see them. In a way, we subconsciously link other good traits based on one apparent trait.
So, a takeaway here, if you want to utilize this one, groom yourself and dress properly.
II-Similarity
The second factor to liking is similarity. Our liking of someone increases when they have similar interests, opinions, backgrounds, lifestyles, or even clothing. We always seek these facts when we meet someone new, we ask questions to get to know them, and in the process find a common interest that will help in ice-breaking.
III-Compliments
The third factor is compliments. Actor McLean Stevenson, the American Actor, and Golden Globe Award winner in 1974 described how his wife tricked him into marriage "She said she likes me". The funny thing is, apparently, we can get influenced when someone compliments us regardless of how true the compliment is. Silly us!
IV-Contact and Cooperation
Now, the fourth factor to liking is cooperation. The best example is the bad/good cop tactic by the police in interrogation. The good cop uses several influence weapons to get their information. For a starter, having a good and bad cop will show the contrast, defending the suspect against the bad cop will use reciprocity, and finally, the cooperation between the good cop and the suspect to get them out or with a lower sentence will increase the liking weapon of influence.
V-Conditioning and Association
The fifth and last factor to increase our liking is association and conditioning. This is one of the most used liking weapons in marketing. Sponsoring events such as the Olympics and Football leagues will definitely help in building brand awareness. But the liking weapon works by associating the positive feeling of the Olympics or the sports league with the sponsoring brand. Another way is putting celebrities in brands’ advertisements. This provides both social proof and liking to the brand. The funny thing, the association does not have to be logical, like having a sports celebrity endorsing soft drinks. It just has to be positive. We will talk more about association when we discuss PreSuasion in the 4th episode.
Conditioning works by positive association that will start an automatic response. One of the best techniques that we can use is the Luncheon technique. The idea is simple if you want to discuss or present to someone, do it while or after eating. Since most of us have a good association with food, research showed that their a higher approval while eating. Give it a try in your next meeting or when asking for a favor. Preferably, pay for the food or cook it yourself, so reciprocation is kicked into gears as well.
Protecting Ourselves Against Liking
Now, with these five factors, physical attractiveness, similarity, compliments, cooperation, and association, liking is a hard influence weapon to defend ourselves against. But there is a way.
Whenever you find yourself liking someone a bit too much, just take a minute and think carefully especially when you have to decide on buying, investing, signing up, etc. Ask yourself, why do you like him? Sometimes, they are actually charismatic and fun. Then, separate them from the decision. If you are buying a house, look at the house objectively without the associated charming salesman. If it is a meeting, separate the good feelings of the food and the nice restaurant from the business deal and so on.
The tip here is, Just be a bit cautious when liking someone too quickly unless it is me of course.
The Authority Principle of Persuasion
[4:47] Before introducing our next weapon of influence, I want you to imagine the following scenario. You go to participate in a study, where the lap assistant explains that you will study some material and be questioned on it afterward. Another participant will question you on the material that you studied. So, you will be the student and he will be the teacher. The twist is that you are seated in a chair and the teacher will deliver an electric shock every time you get a wrong answer. The shocks will start very mildly and increase in pain the more you get wrong answers.
You nervously agree and get strapped to the chair and the teacher and the lap assistant go to the next room, where they can see you behind a glass wall to start the experiment. As the experiment progresses, the shock intensity increases and starts affecting your answers. Then you start screaming and asking them to stop, but the teacher keeps asking and delivering more painful shocks. You start crying and stop answering in the hopes that the experiment will stop, but the questions keep coming and the shocks after them. The last few shocks are so painful, that you cannot even cry or scream anymore, but the teacher does not stop.
Now, this definitely sounds like a nightmare, but let me ask you this. If you were the teacher, would you continue the experiment despite the pain of the student?
This nightmare describes a famous study named the Milgrim Experiment. In the study, the student was an actor helping the lab assistant and no real electrical shock was delivered. The results were that 65% of the participants followed the instruction till the end, despite the crying and the screaming of the student.
The study examined our obedience to authority, which is the 5th influence weapon. Milgrim explains that the reason why 65% kept going is that the lab assistant ordered them to continue the experiment regardless of the student's pain. Some of the participants showed serious nervous signs and almost broke down, but they kept going.
The experiment was done again in a different setting, one where the student will say that they have a heart condition, and it is getting affected by the shocks. Again, the majority of teachers continued the shocks till the end. For me, these are fascinating findings and deeply terrifying. They show how deeply our almost blind following to authority can be. From our childhood, we follow the authority figure. From our parents to teachers, religious leaders, to our supervisors, legal officers, and doctors, our lives are built around a certain authority hierarchy. This provides us with benefits, since these authority figures usually have access to better knowledge than us and are more suited to make the decision, so we just follow them. This also explains how soldiers will do horrific acts and how nurses can make some basic errors when following commands.
The Symbols of Authority
[7:36] Now, to utilize the power of authority, we can use any of the three authority symbols, Titles, Clothes, and Accessories. Let us have a look at each.
Titles' usage as an authority tool can be seen all over the place. Naturally, you need years to get one, but many people just use the label to convey the authority. Whether it is through a title like professor or doctor or being from a prestigious university and hanging your fancy certificates in your office, using titles increases the perceived status of the individual.
The second symbol that conveys authority is Clothing. Formal attire is powerful, whether it is on a policeman, doctor, or the army, their image conveys authority. For us, the easier application is through well-tailored business suits.
The third symbol of authority is Accessories, which include expensive cars, jewelry, and accessories. And they are the last piece in our authority puzzle.
For you to boost your authority, do what Scott Adams call Setting Up the Table. As he says in Win Bigly, persuasion works best when the person who delivers it is credible. Here is how you set your table: Dress for the occasion/ Improve your physical appearance using diet, hair cut and skincare/ signal your credentials in natural way/ brand yourself as a winner (*mention previous deals or projects)/If possible, meet in your own turf or office/ Set high expectations using anchors/Prime them using stories or videos before negotiations & bring high energy.
Protecting Ourselves Against Authority
The final piece is how to defend against authority. Whenever we are faced with what appears to be an authoritative figure, we can ask ourselves two questions. The first question is, Is this individual really an expert at this specific topic? If they are an expert, then move to the next one. Are they being truthful in providing the information? Here, you should be questioning the motives and look for what Nassim Taleb calls skin in the game. The TLDR version for this term is whether that individual is walking the walk or just doing the talk.
Let us take an example, say you go to buy a house from the real estate office. You come in and get to sit with a well-dressed person who identifies himself as the regional manager. When you decide on a house, he says to you it is all great, but between me and you, it lacks a certain feature/or future development will do something to it. Here, he killed three birds with one stone, reciprocity, established he is an expert, and showed sincerity which increases his liking. Naturally, we will be inclined to follow his recommendation afterward.
But, I ask you, if possible, try to separate the salesman from the house and maybe even take some time to think about it. If he pressures you by saying it’ll be sold or you have to do it now, well this’s exactly our next and final weapon of influence, Scarcity.
The Scarcity Principle of Persuasion
[10:16] The last weapon of Influence is Scarcity. Its power comes from how much it can inflate the worth of items. If it is rare, or going to be rare, it will become valuable. One of the common tactics that use the scarcity principle is the "limited-number" tactic. A beautiful example illustrated in the book is when you are at a furniture shop checking a sofa out. You like it but still consider the price a bit higher than your range. Then a salesperson approaches you and tells you that, he sees that you like it, but he sold it 20 minutes ago and this was the last piece. You will be disappointed and ask if there is any more in storage. Then, he will say "well, yeah, it's possible. I will look it up for you. So, you will buy it if I find this model with this price, right?". If you agree, then it is a done deal. In this scenario, the fact that it may be the last piece added to its attractiveness and gave you the final push to make the purchase decision. But, scarcity, was not the only used influence principle used here. Can you figure out the rest?
Another form of scarcity is deadlines. Whether it is face-to-face or on phone, any selling deal where they tell you, if you do not buy now the deal is off, is using scarcity to influence and pressure you into making a decision.
Now, let us look into how scarcity works. Its power comes from two main sources. The first is our tendency to take mental shortcuts like in all our automatic tapes. Instead of analyzing all the information regarding an item, we can decide its value and quality based on how available an item is. After all, if it is selling fast, it must be good.
The second one is described by the psychological reactance theory. The TLDR version is that whenever our free choices are limited, our desire for these choices increases significantly just for the sake of getting back our choice freedom.
Let me provide some examples. When kids touch or do the one thing you stopped them from doing. Here, you restricted their freedom, and they want to get that one thing back. Another example is what is called the "Romeo and Juliet effect" which is when parental interference or disapproval in a relationship makes the couple feel more love towards each other.
On the social scale, the censorship of information whether it is political opinions or adult material leads to the same thing. An increase in the need for us to know what is actually hidden. This leaves us with an interesting dilemma, censoring any information for the sake of the public leads the public to want it even more. This puts a big question mark on how effective such tactics are and how enforcing laws by themselves may not lead to the positive change we think they will do.
Protecting Ourselves Against Scarcity
Now, protecting ourselves against the scarcity principle is not easy. Our rational brain will take the back seat whenever something we want becomes less available, and especially when there's competition on it.
So, the process when faced with scarcity is a two steps process. The first is to take a cue from the rise in our emotional state to take a minute to think. Probably this deal or item will not go anywhere in the next 60 seconds. The second step, question yourself. Do you want the scarce item or resource because it is rare, and you want to have it? Then fine. But, if you want it just for utility and usage, then other items will get you the same results.
Book Conclusion
[13:30] Now, since we have explored all these weapons of influence, I need to bring up the ethical side of things. I cannot tell you how to use them, but I will point out two things. One, there's long term and short-term aspect to your actions. If you use these weapons deceivingly, you may get what you want in the short term, but probably will lose on the future front. The world is a very small place, and your actions will eventually be known, and it can do real damage to you in the long term.
The second point is the internal cost, your conscious and your self-respect. If you continue to be deceitful, your self-image will have to change accordingly, remember the consistency rule.
I hope that now you have an idea of how the reciprocity rule with its relative cousin, the concession rule work, so remember always repay favors in equivalent value and effort. We also learned how small commitments can result in self-image alterations and a desire to be consistent. And how following the crowd and the public is not always the best idea when we are confused and lack information. And question yourself when facing an authority figure, are they an expert on the matter and whether they have your best interest in mind? And lastly, when we like something a little bit too quickly or we are pressured to do an action, take a step back and think rationally about it.
It is important to also note that none of these weapons is usually used in isolation. Generally, it is layered with other weapons to have a better effect.
I will tell you a story of mine and I want you to figure out the influence weapons used in it.
An acquaintance of mine contacted me a while back saying there is a big conference on entrepreneurship happening the following weekend. It will be the biggest in the country's history with many influential figures attending. He said that knowing me, he thought that it will be beneficial for me to attend. Then, he mentioned that there are 4 remaining tickets and if I want to buy them, I should send him the money right away. I started asking for details about the event, name, page, schedule, etc. He did not give any information and kept pushing on how urgent I need to decide before tickets are sold out. He even suggested that he will buy me the ticket and I can pay him later. I rejected his offer and ended the call. And to no one's surprise, there was no event that weekend.
So, which influence tactics did you detect.
For our next episode, we will discuss the 3rd book of this series, win Bigly by Scott Adams and see why facts don't really matter.
As always, make sure to check the website at tldr-show.com for the show notes, episode's transcript, links to social media, and the extra good stuff.
Till next time, be curious, be critical.
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